BETH SARAH - LIMBO
Single out December 27th 2024
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'Your songs are beautiful!'
- KT Tunstall'With a nostalgic flare, an appealing chorus, a lusty rocky execution, and a passionate performance, “Thunderstorm” is the kind of song that can take your severest storm and make you soar in a clear sky.'
– Rock Era Magazine'It is unarguable that Beth’s vocals are amazing!'
– The Music Asylum'Beautiful vocals hovering over serene instrumentals'
– Songweb'Dreamy vocals, painting relatable storytelling and memorable melodies.'
– Mesmerized'Beth’s voice oozes the confidence of a more seasoned performer than her bio implies. She sings with a smile in her voice which reminded us very much of the great Karen Carpenter'
– Send me your ears
STORY
Singer-songwriter Beth Sarah’s music is a masterful blend of emotionally charged honesty and melodic charm, resonating deeply with listeners. Known for her evocative lyrics and versatile soundscapes, Beth’s work captures the essence of human experience, weaving personal narratives into universally relatable themes.Beth debuted on the music scene in 2020 with her single Rollerskates, gaining local radio airplay and introducing her as a solo songwriter-producer. Since then, she has evolved into a full-band artist, releasing Let Her Go on February 1, 2023. This debut album reflects her personal journey of growth, trauma, and self-discovery. “These songs explore the inner battles and freedoms that ensued,” Beth shares. “It’s okay to change direction when life feels like a constant fight – growth and renewal are possible.”Her catalog includes emotionally resonant tracks such as Thunderstorm, Would It Be Okay?, and You’re in My Head, which highlights her ability to connect with audiences through powerful storytelling and arresting vocal delivery. Each song showcases her versatility as a lyricist and composer, blending catchy hooks with reflective, captivating lyrics.Beth's live performances underscore her ability to forge meaningful connections with audiences, whether in the intimate settings of venues like Piano Smithfield or the energetic atmosphere of The Factory Live. Her appearances at events like Hastings Fat Tuesday Festival and supporting KT Tunstall at Worthing’s Pavilion Theatre have cemented her reputation as a dynamic and compelling performer.Beth’s music also reflects her life experiences, from raising a child with additional needs to navigating the challenges of long-term illness. These personal struggles inform her songwriting, creating tracks that resonate deeply with listeners. Songs like Not Today have become mantras for fans, offering solace and strength in difficult times.In 2021, Beth embraced a new challenge through the Lights And Lines #AlbumWritingClub, producing the album Fractured in just one month. The album explores the fragility of human relationships, from heartbreak to miscommunication, and earned “Best Album” among over 50 competitors. Its diverse musical styles coalesce into a cohesive and impactful body of work that will soon be released under the Lights And Lines label.In December 2023, Beth faced a life-altering experience when she was hospitalized with severe acute pancreatitis. The near-death experience prompted her to reevaluate her priorities, leading to a period of reflection and recovery. While still awaiting final surgery, Beth has used this time to channel her experiences into new music. Her upcoming single Limbo, releasing on December 27, 2024, marks the anniversary of her hospitalization and offers a poignant reflection on living with illness.Behind the melodies and beyond the stages, Beth Sarah’s journey is one of relentless creativity, heartfelt communication, and transformation. Her music invites listeners into a world where sensibility meets authenticity, offering a space for reflection, connection, and healing. As her story continues to unfold, Beth is not just an artist to watch but an artist to experience, one whose work stands as a testament to the power of music to transform lives.
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Beth sarah - new single - limbo
Limbo is a song about losing hope and feeling defeated during challenging circumstances. Suffering with severe illness that has become long term, I have struggled with the idea of having to let go of the things I used to do. Limbo approaches this subject in a raw and real way.While in the depths of illness, I had so many messages trying to be cheery and happy. I can understand why people would want to do that; it makes sense to support others in a positive way. However, at the time I found it so unhelpful as I was in constant pain, frustrated at my body and unable to do anything that I loved. I needed people to cry, be angry and frustrated on my behalf rather than the usual 'it will be okay' message we are conditioned to give. Sometimes it's really not okay.My hope is that this song, alongside the other three tracks on the Catharsis EP will serve as that coming alongside those experiencing chronic illness; joining them in their heart cry for some reprieve.This song was recorded, mixed and mastered in my home studio with the help of Zea-Cyan Hudson on cello.
LimboSunshine this morning
The lights are coming on
Inside I’m blacked out
No prior warning
No cushion for my soul
Lose my grip on controlAnd I don’t know how to let go
So run down, I’m in limbo
Tell me now
How to find my way back homeTake all my reason
There’s nothing that can stay
It all slips away
Slowly defeated
I take my final bow
Lose myself nowAnd I don’t know how to let go
So run down, I’m in limbo
Tell me now
How to find my way back homeHow to find my way back homeAnd I don’t know how to let go
So run down, I’m in limbo
Tell me now
How to find my way back home
CATHARSIS EP
The story of the Catharsis EP began in August 2023. I was admitted to hospital in December 2023 with severe acute pancreatitis, nearly dying twice throughout the journey. Worthing Hospital has a digital piano in the Sanctuary which became my only creative outlet while I was an inpatient. The process of playing regularly gave me the inspiration to write when I became well enough to start processing the trauma my body had been through after I came back home. All four of these songs document emotions that were and are very valid for anyone experiencing severe and long-term illness. In writing them, I was able to discharge these emotions and allow them to flow through me. The resulting music speaks for itself, with lyrical content that is heart-on-sleeve, raw and real. My hope is that someone, somewhere will identify with this and find the songs cathartic too.This EP was recorded, mixed and mastered in my home studio with the help of Zea-Cyan Hudson on cello.
It starts with a twinge in my chest
A bit like some strong indigestion that takes my breath away
I am alone and scared
This is AugustIt hits me hard in the night, making me sit and clutch my chest
I ignore it as the pain eases after a while
But it happens again
And again
And again
By now no longer alone but still scared and also scaring those around me
This is SeptemberNext time it lasts longer
I call 111
They send me an ambulance
A&E rule out cardiac and send me home - no answers
This is OctoberThe pain comes again just days later
I call my GP
'Gallstones', he says, referring for an ultrasound
Which confirms a bag of marbles
Urgent referral to the surgeons, making out like it's going to be a mere few weeks and it'll all be sorted
How wrong I amNext time it hits me like a truck and I'm back in A&E, holding my chest, rocking back and forth and crying in pain
They give me strong painkillers and the pain eases
'You're already on the list so you have to wait like everyone else'
I look up waiting list times
45 weeks, just to see the consultant
This is NovemberNext time is a belt around my chest, tightening with every breath, squeezing the air from my lungs
'Pain severity 10/10' says the A&E doctor
'Consider this your consultant appointment so now you are escalated to the surgical list'
He sends me home with codeine for next time it happens
This is December 10thThree weeks more until life changes
A proposal, Christmas with the family, all in pain and waiting for the call
Everything under a shadowBoxing day it begins
A gallstone makes its way into my bile duct and sets off a series of events that could have been avoided if the list wasn't so bloody long
I vomit profusely at someone else's house, away from home, where we are having family time
Nearest emergency department is a long drive away
We arrive
'We're only open till 10 so you're unlikely to get to see a doctor tonight. Here, have some paracetamol'
They don't even check my bloodsI start to feel a bit better - the pain moves and I think the episode is over, so what's the point in staying if a doctor won't even see me
So we go back, stay the night and travel home in the morningThe next day I have a hair appointment for a perm
I don't notice that my skin is turning yellow and I have no idea that internally, my body is fighting a battle like never before
When I get home I try to eat but my stomach says no
Something isn't right
Back to A&E yet againThe pancreas creates amylase and levels in the blood should be around 30-50 units per litre
My bloods show an amylase level of 2666
Shit
It's pancreatitis
This is December 27thThe nurses on the enhanced surgical care unit concertina-fold me into the bed
And they pump me full of all the antibiotics
Metronidazole
Gentamicin
AmoxycillinAnd my body fights it's way through the shadow of death while I get sent for a CT, a chest x-rayMeanwhile they knock me out with Morphine
Oxycodone
Fentanyl
And I float away to places scary and close, with my bed folding in around me as people and places drift right up to my eyes and colours pop and swirlThe doctors and nurses tell my family they have no idea what the outcome will be
'Some people are well within 7-10 days, sometimes longer, sometimes they don't even make it - we can never tell'Monitored constantly
My heart rate sits at a steady 130
Oxygen which gives me nosebleeds
Blood pressure every 30 minutes
Bloods every day, but they can't find any veins so specialists are called in to find them
My levels of everything in the blood have tanked
They give me drinks of potassium
Calcium
Sodium
Bags of fluidsI don't eat for a weekIt gets worse and the team decide critical care would be better so I get moved into HDU in a bay where I have my own nurse
Two doctors try to install a line in my artery on the left and right
They can't find the artery and leave me with bruises and numb handsA specialist manages it the following day and now they can take bloods from there, with immediate results on their machines'she may be with us some time' says the HDU registrar who believes that my body doesn't have enough fight in itFor a while I don't believe my body has enough fight in it
I make my peace with leaving everything behindThen I come to my sensesFight
Fight
Fight
FightBloods start to improve
I eat
I drink
I get moved back out of critical care and continue to be closely monitored by lovely nurses who are so dedicated to their jobsStill hooked up to all the wires, I'm bedbound and my muscles are wasting
I need to move
I need to walk so they determine I am 'ward fit' and I no longer have the wires attachedFreedom!
Freedom to walk
To use the toilet
To start thinking about the futureHome
This is JanuaryThree weeks in bed has made me weak
I can't climb the stairs
I can't lay flat on the bed
I'm told to eat only foods that are under 3 grams of fat so I'm stuck with limited options and keep losing weight at a rate of a kilogram a weekThree weeks at home, struggling to eat, in pain, starting to move around a little
Then the gallbladder rears its ugly head and crashes back into play, knocking me down and causing pain that crushes my chest for hours999 again, straight in with gas and air on the way, whisked through for bloods and pain relief
Seen by a doctor called Freya who is reassured by my blood results and thinks it's just a gallbladder episode - she wants to admit me but they have no beds so I go homeNext day, same again as soon as I try to eat
Pain renders me a crying mess and the ambulance crew are less than sympathetic'What do you need from us? You know we don't carry pain relief on board, and we're not a taxi service'They take me anyway as I insist
We arrive and my bloods have spiked again
A recurrence of pancreatitis
Freya is there, she sees me, she finds me a bed and makes sure I'm admittedThis time the gallbladder pain lasts several days and I can't sleep or eat
I'm dosed up to the max and still in agony
But once that pain subsides everything seems to improve and the doctors start talking about sending me homeOnly they have one concern
I have a collection of pancreatic fluid that has formed into a pseudocyst, six centimetres in diameter, nestled between my stomach and pancreas then turning downwards and snug against my colon on the left
This needs to be resolved before anything can be done about my gallbladder so they refer my case to Guildford, the specialistsThey send me home to wait for the next plan
This is FebruaryThree weeks at home and then it's surgery day in Guildford to put in a stent to drain the pseudocyst
The doctor whizzes through the paperwork at lightning speed, giving me no time for questions or any understanding of possible complications
I go in and sleep then they tell me it all looks good and send me on my merry way with only a couple of hours aftercareTwo more weeks at home and I get a taste of normality as I build a little strength and start to sing and play and see people again
But it's all a tease because inside my body something is brewing that I don't anticipate
This is MarchI start to get the shivers and shakes, fever dreams and pain
I pack a bag and tell my lovely, patient and kind man that he needs to take me to the hospital yet againI arrive and within twenty minutes I'm in resus with antibiotics going in by IV'You're very septic' the doctor tells me
The stent is infected, apparently that's quite commonI remain on antibiotics and get admitted and moved to a ward
They monitor my temperature which keeps spikingAnd I vomit
And I shiver
And I ache
And I can't think or even open my eyes
A week goes byGuildford liaise and I have another CT, this may be ten now since December
I need surgery to washout the stent but the only surgeon in Worthing who can do it is on annual leave for the next two weeks
Guildford can't fit me in eitherSo two weeks more I struggle to eat, painful to swallow, no room for any food - to the point where they fit me with a feeding tube and they pump food directly into my stomach
I have never felt so desperately low or helpless as I do right now
I can't even eat
I've lost so much weight my pyjamas engulf me
I can barely speak with the tube in
Friends and family visit and all they can do is hold my hand and sit with meSurgery day arrives and Dr Brenavan Natarajan talks me through what he plans to do, even bringing the computer into my bay and showing me the CT scan and the sheer magnitude of the pseudocyst
'Without this surgery you will not survive' he tells me
He is so confident and sure of his plan that I put my full trust in his handsHe does not let me downI wake up feeling lighter, no extreme pain like before, just dull aching all over
I remain in hospital and they slowly reduce the antibiotics
My bloods start to improve
My eating starts to improveI start getting out of bed and walking around the hospital
I find a piano in the chapel and my tears flow as I play pieces I have not played in monthsAfter four weeks they let me go home to wait for the next surgery with strict instructions to return at any sign of infection
This is AprilI lay low and force myself to rest, rest, rest
Do NOT want to aggravate anything inside meI can eat more now my stomach has better capacity but I am acutely aware of my food being digested, I feel everything
The aching just doesn't go away
Sleep is hard to come by
Paracetamol every four hours on the dot or I can barely move
I get breathless climbing the stairs
I can't focus to do anything intellectualThree weeks at home waiting for more surgery in Guildford to investigate the stent
They haven't made a plan, they will decide what to do when they can see what's going on in thereI wait in limbo, hoping to stay well as my pulse sometimes races at 115 and my oxygen sometimes dips below 85, all the while having no idea how long this is all going to take to recover fromThe first time I venture out people are like, 'shit how skinny are you?!'
My leggings hang loose on my legs
My coat that I bought only last year and was tight then, doubles over at the front
I feel extremely frail but everyone tells me how good I look
Warped sense of what good is if you ask meI've had enough now, I'm done
Pancreatitis can do oneSurgery day arrives and my son and his girlfriend drive me to Guildford
Nice conversation in the car but I have a nagging feeling all the way
What if they don't take the stent out?
What if I don't feel any better when I wake up?
What if this is all going to take so much longer?In the hospital the nurse puts the cannula in a tiny painful vein on the back of my right hand
While the anaesthetist asks me a zillion questions and the consultant quickly reviews my notes
Same surgeon as last time, condescending, abrupt
'We'll see what to do when we're in there' he says and whizzes off to the next patientI'm second on the list so it all happens quite fast
I know what to expect but this time I'm so very scared that I can't stop crying
They put me in a painful position on the slab then start pumping in the sleep juice which stings all the way up my arm and I cry out loud and I cry until I am asleep
When I awake I'm still in a painful position and I can't move so I cry again
The nurse helps me move then it's rush rush rush
Drink some water, eat some sandwich, let's get you dischargedI don't see the surgeon, he's too busy
It's the nurse who has to break it to me that the situation is STILL not resolved and I have another stent, this time for three monthsI cry againThis is endlessBack home after another emotional journey and I collapse in bed exhausted from the trauma of the dayRest, eat, sleep, repeat
Rest, eat, sleep, repeat
Do a little bit of work
Rest, eat, sleep
Do more work
Rest, eat, sleep
Start building up my strength
Listening so closely to my body all the timePAINHospital again
CT shows a blood clot on my spleen – oh joy! A new organ to be troublesome
Treated with fragmin injections which I beg the nurse to teach me how to do myself so I can JUST. GO. HOME.
Doctors allow it, satisfied that I know what to do if things get worse
How many CT scans have I had now? I’ve lost count
This is MayRest, eat, sleep, repeat
Rest, eat, sleep, repeat
Do a little bit of work
Rest, eat, sleep
Do more work
Rest, eat, sleep
Start building up my strength
Listening so closely to my body all the timeStent surgery three
Doc tells me there’s no way I would be able to feel the stent as I tell him that it’s been causing me issues and I’m looking forward to having it out
Finally there is enough improvement to remove it
I can feel the difference as soon as I wake up
How would he even know if he’s never had one? Condescending Mr la-di-da
This is JulyRest, eat, sleep, repeat
Rest, eat, sleep, repeat
Do a little bit of work
Rest, eat, sleep
Do more work
Rest, eat, sleep
Start building up my strength
Listening so closely to my body all the timePAINBack in A&E for the night, back home, back for another night
Pain is excruciating but they pump me full of the good stuff again and there I am, comatose but pain-free
Another CT
'The good news is, there's nothing new to report - the bad news is, it doesn't look that different to your previous CT in May. Just stick with paracetamol every four hours and take codeine when you need to - if the pain doesn't get under control, you'll just have to come back'
How much paracetamol have I had this year? I wonder
Recovery is going to take so much longer than I thought
This is SeptemberPhone rings
GP receptionist blithely tells me my bloods now show that I'm pre-diabetic
So my pancreas isn't producing enough insulin any more
A wonderful twist to the tale
She books me an appointment to talk to a nurse about my 'diet'
I laugh
Oh if only you knew!
This is OctoberI'm done waiting
This has taken up all of my emotional energy for over a year
No more slumps
No more wondering
I am determined
Life begins now
Life is NOW
This is today
